I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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