Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
