He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
