I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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