So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
