I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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