I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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