what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
