Do vagina's smell?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
