just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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