Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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