did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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