I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
