i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
