my vag is so smooth its legendary
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
