I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
