i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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