you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
