Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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