Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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