Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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