you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you would pick up someone in the library
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
