Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
