giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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