There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
