He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
