yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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