He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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