it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
