what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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