My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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