That's intense
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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