Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
What a dumb baby whore.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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