Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
