On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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