This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
