i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
