Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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