Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
