I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
