Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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