he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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