Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
