Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
