i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
