My room smells like vodka and shame
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is my life. Enjoy the view
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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