we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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