I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
