I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
