You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
