I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
