What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
