party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
