Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
