i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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