the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
