maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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