whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
