i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
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An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
