You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize